It was not your fault, but mine
by HiMyNameIsLeaht
Summary: Kicks off on the last night of 6th year, Lily is ready to tell James how she feels after a year of friendship with him. But when she finally reaches him, she is confronted with heart break. Many more chapters to come, currently just the prologue but in the next few days, there'll be a new chapter uploaded. Please feel free to Read and Review!


The party was in full swing. Almost every one from 4th year and onwards was heavily intoxicated. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, just the typical end of year celebrations. But something was different this year, well a lot was different. Lily hadn't drank anything yet, she needed to stay sober. She needed to remember telling James how she felt. James. So much had changed between them in the past year. They became close, closer than her and Sev had ever been. James had grown up this year too, he'd stopped asking her out- almost altogether, started putting effort into his school work, didn't occupy a broom closet on a regular basis and he'd deflated his head. He also filled out nicely over the year. Lily still blushes at the memory of when he took his shirt off in front of her. They'd stay up together until the early hours of the morning, sometimes they'd study, sometimes they'd be a shoulder for the other to cry on. James had lost his Father at the start of the year and Lily had lost both of her parents not too long after that. When she'd cry, he'd hold her and flatten her hair with his free hand and whisper "It's okay, Lily, I'm here. Shh, it's going to be okay. I promise.". On the nights when she'd have particularly bad dreams, she'd creep up the stairs to his dormitory and tip toe her way over to his bed. She'd slide in beside him and curl into the warmth radiating from his chest and he'd wrap his arms around her. They did this regularly, but it was purely comforting. Until, Lily began to feel something for him. Something deep and warm that made her green eyes light up when she saw him. She had fallen for him. Hard. But she didn't know if he still felt the same. He could have easily gone off her. She didn't think herself the prettiest bird in school. What if he'd grown to love her as a brother does his sister? What if he laughed in her face? What if he told her to sod off? She shook off these thoughts though because she didn't care what he thought, she just needed to tell him. She started making her way through the crowd towards her group of friends to let them know she was heading to bed, when an extremely drunk Sirius Black, dropped his arm around her shoulders. "Evaaaaaaaaaaansssssss" he slurred in her ear.

"Yes Sirius?" She responded.

"I am rrrrather drunk and neeeed a Mckinnon to snoog. Have you seen her?" he asked.

"Come on you, lets go find her." She muttered with a light laugh.

They pushed through the crowd over to their group of Gryffindor 6th years who were sitting in the alcove with the large window by the fire place.

"Mckiiinooon!" Sirius exclaimed as he removed his arm from around Lily and nosedived into Marlene's lap.

"Evening Black." She said with a cheeky grin and she stroked his hair like a puppy.

Lily looked around and noticed that James was missing from their group.

She figured he must have gone up to bed or was still enjoying the celebrations somewhere in the common room. She decided to head up to his dorm and wait for him or meet him there.

"I'm going to head up to bed, I have prefect duty in the morning. I'll see you lot later." She said with a wave and a smile before she turned on her heel and made a beeline for the dormitory stairs.

She climbed them two at a time until she was 8 steps from the top, where she slowed her pace and took her steps carefully and quietly. She reached the door and took a breath in. She pressed her ear against the door but not a sound was heard, so she slowly turned the door know and peeked inside. All the boys hangings were open, except James's, his were drawn shut. Assuming he was asleep, she crept over and hesitated as she put her hand out to draw the curtains, with a final deep breath she grasped the material and pulled it away. The sight she saw before her made her stomach churn. It made her eyes water, her head pound and her breath catch.

There was a naked James, lying underneath a naked Sylvia McCoy. She looked at Lily and smirked. James looked horrified. "Lily" he mouthed, but she couldn't hear him through the unbroken muffuliato charm. A tear leaked from her eye as she turned and threw a quick "I'm sorry" over her shoulder as she fled the scene. She ran down the stairs and shoved through the common room, holding in her tears as she ran and pushed. She reached the portrait hole and scrambled out of it faster than you could say 'Merlin', and took off towards the Grounds where she would sit and cry under her beech tree.


End file.
